Drag Race Episode 5
Ruba walks up in her fifty shades inspired outfit, whipping a crowd of naked people with a whip as she say; "am ruba nd dis is drag race: The Winner will recieve a headline spot on the Glee Wiki® Pride Tour, a sickening supply of makeup from the Ana Mijatovic collection, and 100,000 puffle points‏" and the montage ends as the ladies enter the workroom, exasperated from that lip synch. "WOO SHIT CARRIE, CLEO AND BARBIE YOU FAGS WAS ALMOST GONE GONE GONE." Bayonse screeches in her highest tone. "Fuck the fuck off." says Lady Ratchet, mumbling in the distance. Carrie flexes her muscles; "Back on my farm..." All the queens sigh and moan. --Confession Booth-- Cher Noble: "If we have to hear one more thing about his goddamn chickens and cows and donkey, I'm going to do a one-man mastectomy." --Workroom-- Clara walks up to Barbie. "So how did it feel to be on the bottom for once babe??" Barbie looks at her in confusion, as she was a sad virgin who couldn't drive and the reference went over her head. "Well it was very emotional watching how terrible the other three queens were at lip synching, and i got so emotional when I realised I'm actually the best here and I didn't deserve that." Barbie breaks down and cries, motorboating Clara's tits for comfort. "ok girls lets get this wiped." Cleopatra begins to think about how if she's in the bottom two again she'll be eliminated and how random and unfair that fuckery is and she cries. "MAH MOMMA TOLD ME THAT I WOULD WIN." She breaks into a weeping sob as the other queens comfort her. Lady Ratchet puts a hand on her knee "aw i fucking love it xxx ):" she says as barbie wipes the mirror all by herself. "YOU GOT SHE-MAIL, SHIT GURL." Can be heard as all the queens scamper across the work room and Ruba's face cums on the screen. "Jail. Not a good place." The video ends and the queens have multiple fits as Latrice mothafucking Royale enters the workroom with Ruba. They all scream and finger their pussies violently and throw dildos at her. Latrice flab begins to slap together as the sweat pours out of her skin. Her mouth opens as her teeth start throbbing, moving under the pressure. "GET THOSE DILDOS OUTTA MAH FACE." She screams at the top of her voice before imploding. Ruba just ignores her. "bye latrice, ok queens so dis weeks mini-challenge u will have to make ur best Prison couture. Ready set GO MOTHERFUCKERS." All the queens run to the fabrics and they all make shitty outfits except for queen Carrie Magee. "Carrie you win, ugly cunt." Carrie flexes her muscles and thinks about Tengaged. "Carrie, pick the other team leader." says Rubaul. "well... uh dunt know dese grlz names buuut, am gunna choose Claruhh redwing." She says in her southern belle voice. "and choose your first team member." Carrie browses the selection like it's a Clares sale rack. "Barburu Bobpin." After Carrie says her first choice, they go back and forth between Clara and Carrie until the teams are picked. "Okay so we have; Lily, Barbara, Carrie, Kalison, Bayonse and Kitty, and then we have, Clara, Cher, Barbie, Lady Ratchet and Cleopatra De Boer." Team Clara all screech in excitement as they all love eachother and are basically the new Rolaskatoxxx. --Confession booth-- Clara: "Ok so Me, Lady Ratchet, Barbie Buckfast and Cher Noble are the 'Pink Ladies' and Cleopatra is our Sandy, but like, not talented xxx" Interviewer: "So ur pretending to like Cleopatra?" Clara: *in alyssa edwards as katy perry voice* "ugh Ru NEVER!" --workroom-- Clara glares at Cleo and thinks to herself. "how the fuck is she still here smh xxx" They all head to the set and film their Tuckahoe prison for ladies sketch. Team Clara were fucking HILARIOUS, but team Carrie were shit. They all come on the runway and judge Hibo Dahir is not pleased to see that the butch queen - Barbara Bobpin is not SINCHED. She begins to shout in her thick, indian accent. "okokokok what in de fuk, i tink dat barbara is shite she should be in de bottom right naow." Everyone starts to boo and hiss her as Hibo throws a burqa at Barbara. Ruba says "so what do we think of Barbara?" Hibo looks at her in disgust. "THE BITCH DIDNT EVEN CINCH!!! She looks like Raja dealt a bunch of crack!!" guest judge meghan trainor just looks at the camera. "buy al abowt dat boss - the worlds most overplayed sing on iTunes now! oh and she was shit in teh challenge." To save time they just ranked the rest of the queens based on their 'purple' themed runway looks. These marks are based upon their runway looks ALONE. Barbara Bobpin - Purple 1.png|Barbara Bobpin - 4/10 Cher Noble - Purple 1.png|Cher Noble - 7/10 Barbie Buckfast - Purple 1.png|Barbie Buckfast - 6/10 Lady Ratchet - Purple 1.png|Lady Ratchet - 9/10 Kitty Titz - Purple 1.png|Kitty Titz - 7/10 Clara Redwing - Purple 1.png|Clara Redwing - 8/10 Kalison Kimanda - Purple 1.png|Kalison Kimanda - 8/10 Bayonse - Purple 1.png|Bayonse - 4/10 Cleopatra De Boer - Purple 1.png|Cleopatra De Boer - 5/10 Lily Summers - Purple 1.png|Lily Summers - 4/10 Carrie Magee - Purple 1.png|Carrie Magee - 8/10 Barbara Bobpin - Purple 2.png|Barbara Bobpin - 4/10 Cher Noble - Purple 2.png|Cher Noble - 7/10 Barbie Buckfast - Purple 2.png|Barbie Buckfast - 6/10 Lady Ratchet - Purple 2.png|Lady Ratchet - 9/10 Kitty Titz - Purple 2.png|Kitty Titz - 7/10 Clara Redwing - Purple 2.png|Clara Redwing - 8/10 Kalison Kimanda - Purple 2.png|Kalison Kimanda - 8/10 Bayonse - Purple 2.png|Bayonse - 4/10 Cleopatra De Boer - Purple 2.png|Cleopatra De Boer - 5/10 Lily Summers - Purple 2.png|Lily Summers - 4/10 Carrie Magee - Purple 2.png|Carrie Magee - 8/10 "Lady ratchet. CONDRAGULATIONS YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THIS WEEKS CHALLENGE. You and your team was fucking fab u all desrve prais. HALLELU." Team Redwing rolls up the partition and exits stage left. "ok so um the rest of you are fucking shit but i know what to do." they all look in fear at Ruba as she parts her mexican chilli lips. "Carrie Magee, Kalison Kimanda, Barbie Buckfast. You're safe." they all cry and exit the arena of doom. "Barbara, you're safe xxx BE BETTER NEXT TIME, BITCH X" "I'm sorry Bayonse and Lily my dears, but you two are up... for elimiNATEtion." "dont fuck it up" They lip sing to pop smash hit If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher. Bayone slays the fuck out of Lily, rip tim krabbe. "if u cant lvu urself how da hel can u lvu some1 else cunt i get an amen" "AMEN" the queens say in unison Category:Drag Race